My Nefarious Plan to Get Movie-loving Teenagers to Read Endymion

I am not a teacher. But if I were…

Twilight, right? Vampires. You ever read Dracula? You know, the book about the good girl and the dangerous new bad-boy in town? She’s all set to get married to this boring clerk dude who’s always away on business and then this guy shows up in town and starts bothering her rich best friend and then they like… well, no spoilers.

Another book like that? Frankenstein. Totally. Like, the monster. Remember Anakin at the end of Episode 3? Stolen from an old movie version of this. It’s about this lonely guy who nobody likes ’cause he looks weird, but actually he’s really strong and smart and just has some parent problems. You should read it. Or, you know what? Download the app. You can choose what happens!

Frankenstein was written by a girl, BTW. When she was like 18. She was on European vacation with her boyfriend (who her older sister was totally in love with), this handsome Italian dude (who also wrote a story about a vampire), and this way hot lord who was always getting into trouble for his sexy lifestyle when he wasn’t fighting in revolutions. But the weather sucked, so it was just her and the boys stuck in a big old house with nothing to do.

You know who else she and her boyfriend were friends with? That John Keats guy. Wait, you don’t know about Keats? Didn’t you see Bright Star? It’s, like, the saddest story ever. Q from Skyfall is in it, and Sweet Pea from Sucker Punch. He’s buried in Rome, right by that pyramid in Assassin’s Creed where you get into those catacombs.

You should check out Endymion. It’s about this country boy who dreams about this girl and then goes on this adventure to find her and then it turns out she’s… well, no spoilers.

Yes, I know teenagers aren’t idiots. Yes, I know there are many very clever, highly-literate, and remarkably well-read kids in school as we speak. But still. Sucker Punch.

 

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