With the hockey season officially over and done with, I give you the following play-by-play of a tic-tac-toe match in which I kicked the shit out of Slazak.
The arena: my cubicle, as we waited for a “webinar” to begin, forced into silence by the active speakerphone.
Opening honors: Livingston
Livingston chooses “X”.
1: Livingston, lower left.
2: Slazak, upper right.
3: Livingston, middle right.
4: Slazak, lower right.
4: Livingston, middle left.
That’s right. One round, three moves. Livingston completely eschewed the lengthy series of draws that usually takes place in a match and delivered a master stroke in the first round.
After the match, a brief round of generally unsportsmanlike conduct took place. Slazak, realizing he had lost, sent the paper back with the word “BASTARD” as his only response. Livingston, always the gentleman, carefully wrote a “Booyah!” on the pad, sure to write each letter clearly. Slazak then crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it at the back of Livingston’s head, a clear display of his inability to emotionally handle competition on a professional level. Livingston, in a questionable move, quietly uncrumpled the paper and posted it on his bulletin board. When asked for comment after the match, Livingston stated that he finds it “a good way to get in his head. Every time he comes by, he’ll have to look at the physical representation of how much he sucks”. Slazak could not be reached for comment, as he was sitting in his cubicle crying.