Juicy Fruit

Her Worshipfulness told me I should not post this picture, as it depicts me as being fat.

I’ve always had a bit of trouble visualizing my own size. As a teenager, I wondered why my shirts were all sized as “XL” when they clearly were made to fit normal-sized people. In college I would often be referred to as skinny or by the proper name “Slim”, and didn’t really get why. After I got a desk job, people who wanted to ask me for fifty-seven cents so they could get downtown attracted my attention by calling me “big guy”, another epithet I never agreed with.

Apparently, I believe myself to be the one person on terra firma who is “normal-sized”, and everyone else is either short or tall, diminutive or large. Sources would point to me being bigger than most people, and I’m just starting to catch on. So, if I inadvertantly crush you as I walk by, my mammoth stride spanning valleys and my head somewhere where the air is thin and crisp, cut me some slack. After all, you’re the short one.

8 thoughts on “Juicy Fruit

  1. John Koontz

    It’s not your body, just your giant head.

    In all seriousness, it was weird seeing a picture of you after so many years of not. You going to the potential reunion next year?

    Reply
  2. John Koontz

    That’s the word on classmates.com. I’ve received a few emails about it. Colleen was starting to organize names last year, but I think a couple other people have picked up the task.

    Reply
  3. Dave in Portland

    Angela mentioned something about a reunion to me. I think Jenn Moore might be organizing it, because, you know, she’s still in town.

    Then we got talking about the people who we would like to see from High School who we haven’t already seen in the last couple of years.

    The list was pretty short.

    P.S. I don’t think the picture makes you look fat. You know what they say: The Stanley Cup always adds 10 pounds.

    Reply
  4. Alex

    Colleen… McGrath, right? Jenn Moore — no memory whatsoever. Apparently I don’t deserve to go to this reunion.

    Reply
  5. John Koontz

    Yeah, I can’t seem to place a face with Jenn Moore either. Actually, the majority of the names listed in classmates were blank faces for me. I recognized a lot of names, but that was about it. We didn’t do drugs back then, did we?

    Reply
  6. Dave in Portland

    Maybe I’m doing drugs now and this Jenn Moore person is just a hallucination. That might explain it.

    Have you ever looked at your hands? I mean REALLY looked at your hands?

    Reply
  7. Jason Page

    At least I remember who she is! I saw her a year ago thanksgiving at Wal-Mart (of course) when I was visiting the homestead with Holly. There are definitely worse places to grow up than Merrimack, NH. Obviously, according to the latest poll, there are lots of places with better schools though. NH had ONE school in the top 1100 public schools. Way to go property tax funded school systems! Anyway, I’d just want to see you guys at the reunion anyway. Why don’t we have our own reunion someplace cool or at one of our own places in Oregon, California, Colorado, New York, or, gasp, Indiana? Or head up to Gary’s parents cabin in Maine for a few days. Just my thoughts.

    Reply

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