Why must you mail me such things?

Just yesterday, the B A Start household received an adver-mailing citing the following:

Sham-rock Solid Savings!

We have found it — after years of diligent work, American society has hit upon the platonic ideal of lame marketing.

#1 – Shamrock needs no hyphen. It’s a word.
#2 – That being stated, “shamrock solid” makes no sense, but “sham rock solid” implies falseness. This is the point in the brainstorming session where I would have recommended scrapping the idea. I feel for the poor Cassandra who presumably did so in my absence.
#3 – “Rock-solid savings” also makes little sense.

“How were the savings at the store?”
“Oh they were solid. Rock-solid, I say without hyperbole.”
“Dear me, that is solid. Rather solid. Perhaps I should go to the store. As the savings are not fluid, I assume I will have a similar experience to yours.”
“I should say so. Quite solid, really.”

All in all, just shameful.

1 thought on “Why must you mail me such things?

  1. Peter

    Screw you, man. Apparently you do not appreciate the value of rock solid savings. I don’t want any hesitation or confusion when it comes to my savings. I want them rock. solid.

    Reply

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