Dear Windows –
It’s about Vista. If I had wanted a Mac, I would have shelled out the dough to add one to my list of fashionable accessories*. As it turns out, I want a PC. You’ll note the use of the present tense “want”.
I was an Apple guy once, back when you needed to know what to put after a C prompt to make an IBM-clone do anything other than blink at you mockingly. I used to say ‘an Apple is a tool, and a PC is a hobby’. Used my tried and true Macintosh SE through college without issue. Then I grew up and got a job.
So, you hooked me. I left the world of smiling icons to enter one of deadly blue screens, happy to spend hours of my life watching Scandisk try to undo whatever horrible thing I had done to my PC (simply by trying to use it). My lifelong obsession with videogames reached new heights, and I came to love the accessibility of every aspect of a PC’s function offered by Windows 98 as I tweaked and tweaked, desperate to improve framerate.
Having become a willing devotee of Uncle Bill, I came to detest the Macolytes. Why pay so much for a pretty case wrapped around a machine that wouldn’t let you mess with it? They were useless from a business standpoint and had precisely crapola for games. Yet friends and family, people I care about, fell to the lure of the quick and easy path of Mac ownership.
And now, having carried the torch for these many years, I am slapped in the face with this new Mac-like OS. Why don’t you just replace the Start menu with the Finder and move the X to the other side of the window while you’re at it?
With unflagging love,
* This list is very, very short.