- I receive clearance to grow a beard.
- I grow said beard.
- I am informed politely that the aforementioned beard is leaning towards the scruffy direction.
- I buy a beard trimmer.
- The beard is trimmed by Yours Truly.
- I notice that my hair is also a tad on the scruffy side.
- The hair is trimmed by Yours Truly.
So, if you’re wondering why on this sweet Earth I look like a cross between a mange-ridden chipmunk and a young Maeve Garvey, consider this mystery solved.