Category: Uncategorized

Sorry kids. Haven’t had much to say recently, so I’ll just send you on your merry way to this site, one of the aforementioned Japanese sites which have crossed my path recently. If my workstation looked like that… well, let’s just say it would be awesome. I ran the site through Google’s translator, and this is what I got:

“It relaxed supports the computer job of long time with the new work position where the up-to-date work station which Actualizes the ideal attitude which is based on body engineering research the professional model appearance”

See? Awesome.

Dude. This story, while a bummer because this lady got conned, is hilarious. I ask the following questions:

How can vampires impregnate you with the anti-Christ? And how would pills prevent that?

How do you come up with a scheme like this? I mean, I get extortion. I get extorting someone by saying you’re a vampire and will drink their blood if you don’t get the moolah. I just don’t get the aborted demon thing.

What if they really were vampires?

You may have heard a bit about the ‘Hot Coffee’ scandal surrounding Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Here’s a quick summary — there’s a hidden mode in the game (which one must do some hacking to get to) in which your character has sex and the ESRB has pulled the game to replace it’s Mature (17+) rating with an Adults Only rating. Stores are pulling it, and NY senator Hillary Clinton called for a Federal Trade Commission investigation.

I agree that if any medium has X-rated content, it should be for adults only. The fact that the mode is not accessible by people without proper tools makes this whole issue a little gray.

Here’s an abbreviated list of things I have done in Grand Theft Auto 3 which are worse than having consensual sex:

• Exceeded the speed limit.
• Ran a stoplight.
• Escaped from a prison transfer vehicle.
• Driven a prostitute to a job.
• Stolen a car.
• Stolen a police car.
• Jacked a car.
• Jacked a police car.
• Jacked an ambulance.
• Jacked a firetruck.
• Jacked an FBI vehicle.
• Jacked a tank.
• Jacked an ice cream truck.
• Engaged in a street race.
• Engaged in a high-speed chase.
• Disposed of a vehicle used for a crime
• Disposed of a vehicle with a dead body in it.
• Located 100 stashes of drugs and exchanged them for weapons.
• Assisted in a bank robbery.
• Assisted in several murders.
• Planned and executed several assassinations.
• Solicited a prostitute, and killed her to get my money back.
• Started a gang war in order to decrease property values.
• Engaged in a drive-by shooting.
• Engaged in a random drive-by shooting.
• Killed police officers, FBI agents, and military personnel who were firing upon me.
• Killed police officers who were not firing upon me.
• Killed non-gang-affiliated civilians in order to attract the attention of law enforcement.
• Killed the emergency personnel who arrived to care for these civilians.
• Killed wantonly and without cause using a large variety of weapons, including but limited to my bare hands, a baseball bat, various guns, various incendiary devices, a flame-thrower, and a tank.

Apparently 17-year-olds hacking a program and simulating sex is more deserving of government attention than them simulating any of the acts on the above list.

If any of you had any interest in this post, be sure to swing by this site, the Coldplay X&Y Album Art Generator.

Picked up Tiger Woods 2004 this weekend, which has unsurprisingly dominated my life since. Gameplay is pretty much the same as the ’03 version, but a big addition was made with character customization. There’s the EA Sports Game Face, which ought to be called EA Sports Try To Make Something Look Like You, Get Frustrated And Give Up Face, and a veritable stripmall’s-worth of clothes. Now, the clothes serve a purpose in making money via sponsorships, but we all know they’re so you can play dress-up. This brings up the age-old issue of the digital avatar. When faced with the requirement to make a character for yourself, what do you do? Make him look like you? Similar to you but cooler? Something funny? Something completely different?

No matter what you do, it’s going to be embarrassing, especially when your wife catches you shopping for digital golf duds. You know what she’s thinking when that happens? “How is this more interesting than hanging out with me? You’d think he could find the time to… ooh! The salmon one with the stripes! Make me! Make me!”

For someone who doesn’t speak it, I’ve been to an unusually high number of Japanese websites recently.

There’s something captivating about a site written in a non-indoeuropean language. I know we all learned in Psych 101 that linguistic differences do not mean a difference in perception — you know, the fifteen-words-for-snow business — but I don’t buy it. For some time now, I’ve been under the impression that if I were to learn an Asian language, previously untapped mind potentials would be unlocked and I would transcend wisdom.

For now, I’ll stick to reading up on Electroplankton.

Today I walked into the restroom to see a coworker standing at a urinal with a Blackberry in one hand and (presumably) his wang in the other. Dude, seriously. Pull yourself together.

To those of you starved for more content, I apologize. I have now linked to Goose’s blog and to The Trials, one o’ them moblogs. Enjoy, fellow web wackos.

I’m not sure which is scarier: this dude’s extensive collection of links to flash games or how many of them I had seen before. This is my favorite so far.

People have been telling me that the Buffalo Airport was closed this morning due to a weird package, and that this package contained Star Wars memorabilia. I’d like to go on the record as stating that it wasn’t me.