Category: Uncategorized

Dear Hot Topic –

While I have appreciated your efforts to provide videogame-related clothing to the consumer, you appear to have just slightly missed my particular niche. I am in the market for a style which can best be described as “subversive.” I want clothes which advertise the fact that I intensely geeky to those in the know, but appear fairly normal to the rest of society.

Allow me to give an example. I saw in your establishment a T-shirt which read “Halo 2“, and another which had the shield/swords/alien skull symbol for the Legendary difficulty setting from Halo and read “Legendary” in small type underneath. The latter of these is getting closer to what I’m talking about. Blatantly stating “I play and enjoy Halo 2” is not as cool. Are you with me?

Here is what I would like to see from you: a series of unassuming polo shirts with corporate logos embroidered on the right breast, but the logos are from the evil corporations from various videogames. For starters, whip a few for Shinra Incorporated, Datadyne, and the Umbrella Corporation.

You see, the market is now flooded with people for whom videogames have been a part of their entire lives, people like myself who are getting a bit old to be dressing like teenagers. Pac-man himself turns 25 this month, a sobering fact. Please keep us in mind in the future. After all, we don’t have to ask our parents for money.

Ben. While the ode has become something of a lost art in this era of perpetual rants, in which we have decided to no longer define ourselves by what we like but rather by what we can find fault with, like teenagers who think that disliking everything makes ne sophisticated, I offer this meager post to you and your 100.

You brought us the small orange bottle full of insect-repellent liquid, the only fluid that has ever successfully kept insects from sucking my blood and feeding it to their parasitic young. Brewed with care in my homeland of New Hampshire, I can find no fault with Ben’s 100. The very sight of your product brings to mind of painless and swat-free summer nights, and for those I thank you.

I have heard the reverent legends that state your elixir was discovered by accident as you tried to make a solvent for rubber, and I say “good show”. I have seen the rubber-melting abilities of your wonderful creation, having used it to improve the seal on bottles of fuel with success.

Your detractors ignore the tremendous debt society has towards you. They say it is a violation of Federal law to use your life’s great work in a manner inconsistent with its labelling. They say it is a hazard to humans and domestic animals. They tell us not to apply it to the hands of young children, and that they should not be allowed to handle your product at all. With one breath they say it can cause substantial eye injury, and in the next that the alleged injury is temporary. They tell to never place unused Ben’s 100 down any indoor or outdoor drain, as if anyone would throw this boon to humanity away!

To those who would say such things, I offer this warning: change your ways. See Ben’s 100 for the man-made miracle it is, and put aside your petty claims that it should be stored in a “cool, dry (preferably locked) storage area inaccessible to children and pets”, that one should call his local solid waste agency for disposal instructions. There is still time for you to cease your slander and offer Ben the praise he deserves.

Things I have done in the past few days which I have never done before (summarized):

Gone to the Outer Banks in North Carolina.

Stopped at Roanoke Island, site of the lost colony, Virginia Dare, and all that. It had been on my list of places to see, and I had no idea it was on the way — added bonus.

Ate mahi mahi, which is apparently not dolphin meat. At least that’s what they told me.

Had someone ask me how my food tasted. I had heard of this bizarre waitstaff ritual, but never experienced it first hand. It took all the self-control I could muster not to say “like fish, jackass”.

Found myself in the possession of one of those oval-shaped white stickers that yuppies put on their cars because they look like the European country-of-origin stickers. I had a feeling this might happen one day.

Had Budweiser Select. Give it a try — s’good.

Heard that Garv caught a fish. Way to work, dude.

OK. Looks like the recent rumors circulating about the next Nintendo console — codenamed Revolution — will have all previous console releases available for free download is not true. Apparently, some old NES, SNES, and N64 games will be made available for purchase through an online service or some such thing.

Considering the retro-gaming mood I’ve been in recently, I came dangerously close to losing it when I heard the rumors. I mean, every game for every system? Yowza. Just think of all the Mega Man titles I never got to play! I didn’t have a Super Nintendo — who knows what goodness I missed!

Is it wrong that a large percentage of my childhood memories are 8-bit?

Here’s another link for you all. Buffalo Rising Journal has joined the ranks of the various blogs, videogame/movie news sites, et alis that make up my list of daily reads. So go check it out.

The new background: too much?

Today I offer you this story on Extreme Tech advising the reader on a way to speed things up on the ol’ PC. It details the use of the Intel Application Accelerator, a small utility which streamlines the data flow between the storage devices and the processor. Considering the many times I have found myself tearing my hair and gnashing my teeth at all hours of the morning as I tried desperately to undo my own attempts at PC improvement, I was a little nervous to use this thing, but I gave it a go, said a prayer to ward off the Blue Screen, and met with success. If you decide try it, make sure you read the Extreme Tech article and all of the documentation/warnings from Intel first, of course. I have noticed improved speeds on my machine, and nothing’s blown up so far.

Do me a favor and keep your eyes open for this Beck EP. I tried New World Record, and those pretentious, horn-rimmed minors had nuthin’. Now if this were a for-real serious blog, I’d have done all kinds of research about the EP and would be communicating it to you with wit and aplomb. Unfortunately for you, all I have to say is that it’s got four songs from Guero remixed using Nintendo music and it’s totally rad. Oh, and give you the Rhapsody link. Make sure you listen to the last one — it’s the best of them.

Also on the retrogaming front, go check this out. Some art exhibit in LA featuring pieces based on old games. My favorite’s the Qbert one. A few more pics of it here.

No posts since Sunday? Good gravy. So just what the heck have I been doing?

Monday: Moving someone in. Playing wiffleball.
Tuesday: Work, looking at a fire.
Wednesday: Work, store, playing Tiger Woods.

Fill any gaps in with “sitting on the porch enjoying the good weather” and that’s a pretty accurate picture.

If you haven’t already, go over to outgrabes and check out the latest. 100% awesome. You know why it’s cool to have an artist in your life? They use you as a model.

Her Worshipfulness has a problem. While my addictions tend towards stuff you put in your body, hers relates to things you put on it. Without doing any rummaging, I can bring to mind ten different bottles of goo she applies to her skin and hair on a daily basis. Does one really need a separate lotion used singly for one’s elbows?

The woman wears neither makeup nor jewelry, so my concern is not at all for expense, but rather for the inevitable results of my own clumsiness. No sudden movements can be made in our bathroom without serious risk of bottle scatter and explosion.

For example, this morning as I showered I removed my shampoo from the hangy-thing. One might think this not to be a risky venture, but not so. In a Goldbergian series of events, the shampoo turned out to be the primary support for a bottle of “calming” soap which kicked out its bottom to the side, knocking a metal canister of compressed pink shit rapidly out the back of the wire structure, leading to much banging and clanging. As anyone living with a woman will tell you, unexpected noises are usually met with bitching of similar volume. And trust me, if in this situation, don’t go for the “you have too many damn bottles” approach. Does. Not. Work.