Ok, Spring. Let’s get with the program here. Tell Jack Frost he’s had enough fun at our expense and make with the decent weather. It’s not that I’m a big outdoors guy, like I’m waiting to get back to jetskiing or anything like that. I’m just ready to retire the snowbrush.
I sat down and mapped out my calendar of time off the other day. All these Universal Orlando “take back your vacation” commercials must be getting to me.
And that’s all I’ve got for you today.
Before picking up GT4, I asked Her Worshipfulness a rhetorical question: Just who do they think is going to take pictures of their digital cars and share them with people? Her reply: “People like you, Alex. People just like you.”
Can anyone explain to me why Bode Miller was the USA Today cover story today? I mean aside from the fact that USA Today sucks.
Now, I’m a fan of competitive skiing. Any time it appears on my TV, my remote can be found lying on the floor behind my shortly after. One might think that watching people ski the exact same run over and over, missing each other’s times by imperceptible fractions of seconds, would be boring. Not to this guy. Imagine my surprise when I see Bode Miller on the front page. Cool, right? But… skiing? That’s the big news today? Aren’t we engaged in two different wars?
Well, I was going to post about the fact that Oliver Wood is played by a guy named Biggerstaff, but Garv saved you all.
1. which cartoon character from our youth are you most similar to, and which would you prefer to be most like?
Most similar to: First base, Bugs Bunny. Now, I know that probably sounds self-important, picking major character like that, but here’s the deal. My smart-ass attitude gets me in trouble and I have a propensity for getting lost.
Want to be: Tigra. Mental powers, can teleport, has awesome bolo thing, and banging Cheetara. Ho!!!
2. let’s say you write the next “great american novel”. who would you most like to write glowing reviews for the dust jacket?
The concept of the great American novel is a complicated one, worthy of its own post, so I’ll answer the question you asked. Elizabeth Cook, author of Achilles. Her book is as close to perfect as I can imagine, and I can imagine quite a bit.
3. what’s your favorite curse word? (okay, that is a james lipton one, but it’s still a good question.)
I like me some ‘hell’, certainly, but I’d have to say ‘Jesus’. Gets the freaks all riled up.
4. a genie appears but can only grant three food wishes. what are your perfect breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus?
Breakfast: pancakes w/ real maple syrup, bacon. OJ, coffee.
Lunch: bread, olives, cheese. Coca-cola.
Dinner: Spaghetti and meat sauce. Salad. Bread. Wine.
5. what is one thing about you that you have never admitted on B A Start?
My last name.
The First Annual Buffalo Winter Driving Skills Competition
Day 1: Parking
Day 2: Time trials
Day 3: Special events
No four wheel / all wheel drive vehicles allowed. Extra points distributed based on amount of rust on your vehicle — 1 point per event per square inch. Three extra points per event if you compete with your girlfriend in the car.
Now, you might wonder just where the hell I’ve been. While my various adventures are not necessarily suited to be etched in the html of webshite, I can tell you that I’ve been playing Gran Turismo 4 as if I were an automaton programmed to drive and drive alone. If you are even vaguely considering getting it, get your sorry ass out there and get it right now.
Just the other day I found something new. Something awesome. OK, so I got the IB license, opening up more races. In the rally races, the Normal Tsukuba circuit is a single 3-lap race. The prize car is valued at about 100 large. and you can run the race over and over, thus getting the aforementioned prize car over and over. And selling it over and over. Not a bad take of 3.19.109 minutes of race time.
God damn it.
The first day with some sun and I’m stuck inside, waiting for Mr. Fix-It to swing down and check out the water dripping from the window in the bathroom.
When stepping outside is synonymous with brutal cold and frustrating driving, the scope of potential activities narrow dramatically. One would think this would cause an up-swing in the world of blogs, but no. We’re all starting to crack, and our blogs reflect it. My day-to-post ratio has dropped substantially, even with last weekend’s marathon. Over at webshite, Greg is happy to let us know he’s got nothing going on. At outgrabes, boredom is tune of the day. Swish is on sabbatical, and DHKA (while not a blog) has been silent since the cold began.
And here it is, a sunny day with melting snow and the promise of a decent drive, and I’m doing the same thing I’ve done for weeks. Sit inside and screw around.
Side-note: Water damage follows me around. My childhood home, my college dormroom, my two previous apartments, and now my current living sitcheeation. I think water’s out to get me.
I have government issues. I come from a town where we voted by raising our hands in town meeting and state in which there are no taxes and no services. I now live in a state where they make laws as if the goal of human existence was to cover all the paper in the world with esoterica. If the current year was 1995, I’d say I experienced culture shock, but the proliferation of the internet has made any accepted turn of phrase passe in nano-seconds, and I wouldn’t want to lose my credibility.
Here’s the problem. I don’t trust the government, and I don’t trust the people. For example, I’m not a big fan of the jury system, since it takes people who don’t necessarily know anything about the law and puts them in charge of implementing it. I also don’t think the judge should make all of the decisions, since people have biases and mortgages.
Let’s talk about public school curricula. (No, wait! Keep reading! I promise, it won’t be too bad. If you get bored, just think about how ‘curricula’ reminds you of Bunnicula.) Who should decide whether or not to teach about evolution? Now, the federal govt coming down and telling the town and city govts what to do gets my blood warm, but my guess is that the number of school districts that want not to / do not teach evolution is getting up there, and this needs to be stopped by people who have brains.
This is my pain. I don’t trust big central govt not to exploit the hell out of everything and I don’t trust the citizens to make educated decisions.
So what do I do about it? Like any self-respecting American under 37, I blog about it. Completely ineffectual, but it does feel so very, very good. I mean, to the untrained eye it’s almost like I’m writing a respectable article about a pressing issue, when in fact I’m vaguely bitching about whatever’s on my mind without being restrained by having to have a good point or any recommendations. No editor needed, I’ll publish whatever the fuck I want, thank you. This format rocks.
Three day weekend, hour 52.
I think we’ve learned just what I do when I’ve got free time: videogames and drinking.
Last night, I judged a bake-off. After ten desserts, three cups of coffee, and a half-dozen cigarettes, I felt like a 2nd grader on Halloween. I’m still a little spazzed out.
Three day weekend, hour 36.
I have a confession to make. Last night, a friend told me about a website which has broadened the concept of those digital pet things. Remember those? Well, here’s how the conversation went:
Mike: “So, yeah. You feed ’em and clean ’em and all that.
Alex: “Uh-huh.”
Mike: “But they’ve made a whole world for them, all these different islands.”
Alex: “Yeah. Uh-huh.”
Mike: “And they can fight each other.”
Alex: “Oh, your neopet is going DOWN, BITCH!”
Never mind my deep-seated psychological problems related to competition for now. I went and set myself up a Neopet today. Here’s the deal. It’s a whole bunch of flash games you play to get points to buy stuff for your pet. Like minesweeper and poker and stuff, but in this loose configuration of locales and with Wuzzle-looking beasties. I guess it’s like any MMORPG, but without the monthly charge.
So yeah. I hope nobody finds out.