Alex Livingston

Kali-mahhhh

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gala5931

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Sabres. Going to the playoffs, but that slump was not so good. I read this article on the topic, and will provide for you now a fairly disturbing quote from Ryan Miller:

“It’s not panic mode,” Miller cautioned. “I don’t think it’s been terrible. It’s been less than stellar, but I don’t think it’s any reason to go change everything and start sacrificing live animals.”

I have to agree, Ryan. No reason whatsoever to start sacrificing live animals, or even dead ones for that… wait, what the hell are you talking about? To whom? What dark gods of hockey would be appeased by this nefarious act? Whatever unholy alliance you have formed with these beasts-who-are-not-of-God, I’m going to assume they would be more happy with a sacrifice of Tim Horton’s and Coffee Crisps. The Canadians I know always want my “Yankee cigarettes” — perhaps a few cartons of those would help.

Comments

3 responses to “Kali-mahhhh”

  1. johnny k Avatar
    johnny k

    As an avid hockey fan and still-active (recreational) player, I would say that…YES…animal sacrifice is an acceptable way to gain the favor of the hockey gods. Realize, though, that the price goes up with the importance of your wish. For instance, a chicken sacrifice might take the curse off of my catching glove or help ward off any unfortunate 5-hole goals. A hat trick will cost you one female otter. The Sabres most likely found a bull moose offering to end their losing streak during their recent trip to Toronto. And to win the Stanley Cup, take a tip from Red Wing fans and throw an octopus on the ice!
    There’s a reason many teams are named after animals, folks! Bruins, Panthers, Sharks, Coyotes, Penguins, Thrashers and Ducks have all been sacrificed for the greater good of hockey and to it’s dark lord, Gary Bettman.

    Reply
  2. Garvey Avatar
    Garvey

    No wonder the Bisons kick ass.

    Reply
  3. John Avatar
    John

    all I know is that I play goalie on occasion and my equipment sure smells like someone sacrificed a live animal in it.

    Reply

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