Why must you mail me such things?

Just yesterday, the B A Start household received an adver-mailing citing the following:

Sham-rock Solid Savings!

We have found it — after years of diligent work, American society has hit upon the platonic ideal of lame marketing.

#1 – Shamrock needs no hyphen. It’s a word.
#2 – That being stated, “shamrock solid” makes no sense, but “sham rock solid” implies falseness. This is the point in the brainstorming session where I would have recommended scrapping the idea. I feel for the poor Cassandra who presumably did so in my absence.
#3 – “Rock-solid savings” also makes little sense.

“How were the savings at the store?”
“Oh they were solid. Rock-solid, I say without hyperbole.”
“Dear me, that is solid. Rather solid. Perhaps I should go to the store. As the savings are not fluid, I assume I will have a similar experience to yours.”
“I should say so. Quite solid, really.”

All in all, just shameful.

One reply on “Why must you mail me such things?”

Screw you, man. Apparently you do not appreciate the value of rock solid savings. I don’t want any hesitation or confusion when it comes to my savings. I want them rock. solid.

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