Blog

Throughout my bookish life, I have tried and failed several times to read various non-fiction books. It turns out I just don’t have the stamina for it.

Here’s the issue: they just don’t need to be book length. For example, I am currently sweating through Guns, Germs, and Steel, which claims to explain differences in the technological development in various societies throughout history. I just read a whole damn chapter on wild almonds. Sorry, but the sentence “some wild plants lent themselves to cultivation better than others” would have suited me just fine. I have a feeling that when I reach the final page I will wonder why the author didn’t just write a five paragraph essay.

I move we bring back the pamphlet. Go ahead and spend your adult life proving something — just boil it down to the essentials for me. Thirty pages tops. And I know you think you have already, that you’ve tearfully stripped untold pages of vastly important details on the mating habits of horseshoe crabs which your editor told you the unwashed plebs just wouldn’t be able to handle. Your editor is right. Trim that puppy down, no matter how a good thick book looks on a library shelf.

Since B A Start appears to have become an etymology blog, can anyone tell me if the idiom “bite the dust” existed anytime between The Iliad and Queen?

As I plowed through a writing project this weekend, I caught myself typing the stale phrase “that rarest of species”. I know, I really am that stuffy. Maybe it’s The Dante Club, maybe the Pride and Prejudice, but my English has become substantially more Queen’s recently, probably to the same degree as Johnny‘s has become Queens.

Either way, I struck the phrase, assuming I was unconsciously quoting something. Damned if I can figure out what though. I mere googling returns a litany of articles using the phrase, but no source. I tried Shakespeare and the KJV. Even a thorough bartleby session turned up nought. (See? Who uses ‘nought’?)

Anybody got anything on this? I mean, it must have come from somewhere. Three cheers to you if you find it. I’ll toast your name with a sherry in the parlor and draw up an epigram praising your alacrity.

My 25 favorite TV chatacters (unranked):

1. Niles Crane
2. Jayne Cobb
3. Lucius Vorenus
4. Ironhide
5. Capt. Lewis Nixon
6. Shipwreck
7. Statler / Waldorf
8. Uncle Iroh
9. Riker
10. The Riddler (Animated, not Gorshin)
11. Tigra
12. Mandora the Evil Chaser
13. Lionel Luthor
14. Orko
15. Those spaghetti aliens from Sesame Street (yep, yep, yep, uh-huh)
16. Malcolm Reynolds
17. Skinner
18. Lt. Felix Gaida
19. Dr. Cox
20. Kaboobie the Flying Camel
21. Samurai Jack
22. Stormshadow
23. Bugs Bunny
24. Leonardo
25. Tom Servo

Check this out.

Main Entry: her·met·ic
Pronunciation: (")h&r-'met-ik
Function: adjective
: being airtight or impervious to air —her·met·i·cal·ly /-i-k(&-)lE/ adverb
Her·mes Tris·me·gis·tus /'h&r-(")mEz-"tris-m&-'jis-t&s,/ Greek mythological character. Hermes Trismegistus was identified by the Greeks with the Egyptian god Thoth. To him was ascribed authorship of various works on astrology, magic, alchemy, and medicine. It was also believed that he had invented a magic seal to keep vessels airtight, and from his name the adjective hermetic meaning airtight was derived.

What? Son of a BITCH!

First we had to change all the maps. The Germanies combined, and the USSR didn’t turn out to care that much about the U.

Then the food pyramid. All of a sudden, dead animal is good for you again.

Now the solar system? Setting aside the general dimwittedness of messing with a celestial body named after a death god, what’s left? Are we going to add more states? Will we discover new half-elements, requiring us to carry atomic number to at least the tenths? Perhaps an additional stanza can be added to the Gettysburg Address. A new color of the rainbow, something between red and orange, just to mess with Mr. Biv? How about another Great Lake?

I promise this isn’t really about videogames. I mean, a little, but not much.

The black and pink versions of the DS Lite are being released in the US quite soon. ‘Onyx’ and ‘Coral Pink’, I should say. Now, in Japan they called it ‘Noble Pink‘. Why the switch?

Does pink mean something other than ‘feminine’ in Japan? Is it associated with the nobility there, as blue and purple are to the anglosphere? Are Japanese more likely to respond well to concepts of nobility and class structure? Does Nintendo fear we will take up arms against their nobles and overthrow them, establishing ‘Casteless Pink’ and ‘Merit-based Salmon’ DSes?

Know what I haven’t done in a while? New B A Start banner. Any suggestions?

The United Way Day of Caring means two things:

1) No morning shave.
2) A half-day in the office with a T-shirt and shorts on.

I become a ninja when not in my business cadzh. Several unsuspecting coworkers took a step back and gasped when I said ‘hello’, unaware that the non-descript shape heading towards them was indeed I. I vow to you this day, gentle reader, not to use this power for evil. After all, Yojimbo is still out there somewhere.