{"id":332,"date":"2005-03-06T17:27:00","date_gmt":"2005-03-06T22:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/?p=332"},"modified":"2005-03-06T17:27:00","modified_gmt":"2005-03-06T22:27:00","slug":"start-training-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/?p=332","title":{"rendered":"Start training now."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The First Annual Buffalo Winter Driving Skills Competition<\/p>\n<p>Day 1: Parking<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Parallel park a 1992 Buick Century between two SUV&#8217;s on the side of the road that should have been plowed before the sides switched but wasn&#8217;t.  Points awarded for time, proximity to curb, and lack of vehicle damage.  <\/li>\n<li>Park a sedan in an unplowed driveway between two houses.  Demerits for hitting either house or not pulling far enough up.<\/li>\n<li>Park on the road in such a way that a passing plow will not hit you, but a woman in heels can get out of the passenger side door without sliding under the vehicle.  (Woman to be provided by event manager.)<\/li>\n<li>Elmwood Village, 5 am.  No one has shoveled.  Find a spot that isn&#8217;t in front of someone&#8217;s driveway.   <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Day 2: Time trials<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Drive down Main Street from Delevan to Allen in under ten minutes.  Automatic disqualification if driver hits a pothole or if the &#8220;Low Trac&#8221; idiot light comes on at any time.  Good luck.<\/li>\n<li>The 33 from the198 to Genesee.  Without windshield wiper fluid.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Day 3: Special events<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You have a fifteen minute drive and a cold car.  Find the balance between interior temperature and visibility due to the fog level of the windshield.  Judged by an anemic woman with no gloves who hasn&#8217;t had lunch.   <\/li>\n<li>Navigate Gates Circle safely.  The circle will be filled with cars driven by people on cellphones, the elderly, and people who only brushed the snow off the driver&#8217;s side windshield.<\/li>\n<li>Take a left out of Panos at 1pm on Saturday.  Points awarded for least number of people dead.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>No four wheel \/ all wheel drive vehicles allowed.  Extra points distributed based on amount of rust on your vehicle &#8212; 1 point per event per square inch.  Three extra points per event if you compete with your girlfriend in the car.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The First Annual Buffalo Winter Driving Skills Competition Day 1: Parking Parallel park a 1992 Buick Century between two SUV&#8217;s on the side of the road that should have been plowed before the sides switched but wasn&#8217;t. Points awarded for time, proximity to curb, and lack of vehicle damage. Park a sedan in an unplowed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/galaxyalex.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}