Author: gala5931

Three day weekend, hour one.

Watched the first few minutes of Lock Stock, followed by Napoleon Dynamite and Shaun of the Dead last night, both of which had striking similarities to my own life. Well, to be fair the stuff in Napoleon just reminded me of the eighties (those jumpropes!) and general geekiness. Shaun on the other hand… yikes. We all know that if you want a good flick, just add zombies, but the real success of this movie is in its accurate portrayal of the fading late youth of people raised on TV, right down to the ninja poster. AND the videogame they play throughout is Timesplitters 2, an all-time favorite which is quite appropriate, as there is much, much zombie decapitiation and the developers are English. My question is, where is this fictional setting in which people can still smoke in bars?

Well this is it. I took a day off. So, what do I do with this three-day weekend? I went to see the inlaws last weekend, so the demon Obligation is snoozing peacefully. I got my haircut last weekend. Hmmm… I predict a trip to the grocery store, about half an hour of reading, a mere few hours of videogame playing, several walks, forty-five minutes of writing, eight hours of drinking, two movies, two hours of Carnevale. And you wonder why I haven’t been posting much recently.

I submit this for your consideration. Will this be informative, interesting, or good? No. Will I be watching it? Yes. Now, there’s no damn mystery to dragons. There are dino bones all over the place, big lizard looking things. Never understood why there has any been any doubt. Perhaps this show will straighten a few things out for me. More likely it will tell me the poignant tale of young George who lives in peace on the Isle of Wight with his dearest mommy dragon until a bigger dragon comes to mess with them. Now and then the Book of Kells will be displayed. Several white guys will talk. I will quickly grow tired of ads for the Chevy Cobalt.

Go check Royal Toybox. Right out loud.

Two horns way up for Constantine. Everything I wanted, nothing I didn’t. I was introduced to the character in the works of Neil Gaiman, in which he makes a few appearances, and everything I inferred about his mysterious past was proved by a little internet research to be completely incorrect, so I don’t get to go all geek on anybody. (Too many commas? You think so? )

Riddle me this: was the chair on which Constantine stood the same chair from The Matrix? Because I think it is, and my long-standing insanity of The Matrix has been well-documented. In short, Constantine is the best anti-smoking propaganda film I’ve ever seen.

Not since Wednesday? Good gracious.

Thing #1: The Loonatics. A new version of the Looney Tunes characters set in the distant future, a future which seems to consist of scary eyes, dark colors, and long, curved lines. My take — go for it. The originals are eternal, and adding to the universe is fine with me. They aren’t calling the new characters “replacements” or “updates”, so I will leave my purist attack mode aside. For now.

Thing #2: The movie Troy. Now, I fully expected to find a nearly limitless number of problems with this movie, my purist attack mode at the ready. I did not expect it to be a horrifically bad movie. If you’re going to make a bad movie, stick to the text. If you’re not going to stick to the text, at the very least make the movie worth watching.

Thing #3: The city of Pittsburgh. Surprisingly awesome.

With the hockey season officially over and done with, I give you the following play-by-play of a tic-tac-toe match in which I kicked the shit out of Slazak.

The arena: my cubicle, as we waited for a “webinar” to begin, forced into silence by the active speakerphone.

Opening honors: Livingston
Livingston chooses “X”.

1: Livingston, lower left.
2: Slazak, upper right.
3: Livingston, middle right.
4: Slazak, lower right.
4: Livingston, middle left.

That’s right. One round, three moves. Livingston completely eschewed the lengthy series of draws that usually takes place in a match and delivered a master stroke in the first round.

After the match, a brief round of generally unsportsmanlike conduct took place. Slazak, realizing he had lost, sent the paper back with the word “BASTARD” as his only response. Livingston, always the gentleman, carefully wrote a “Booyah!” on the pad, sure to write each letter clearly. Slazak then crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it at the back of Livingston’s head, a clear display of his inability to emotionally handle competition on a professional level. Livingston, in a questionable move, quietly uncrumpled the paper and posted it on his bulletin board. When asked for comment after the match, Livingston stated that he finds it “a good way to get in his head. Every time he comes by, he’ll have to look at the physical representation of how much he sucks”. Slazak could not be reached for comment, as he was sitting in his cubicle crying.

Here’s the report on the Auto Show.

Surprises:

• The ability of Buffalonians to consume food and beer. Amazes me every time.
• Some dude giving away free samples of Viagra. Oh, I thought about it.

Questions:

• The Porsche Cayenne. Why?
• Where was Audi?
• What’s a guy got to do to find a car that isn’t an SUV, isn’t a boy racer, and isn’t an old man car?

I saw some very nice vehicles today. The GT (g) was there, and it was pleasure to view again. The Shelby Cobra occupied a pedestal, ready to be worshipped, as well it should. Surprisingly cool dashboard on that car. They had a Viper(g) there; always nice. Points for creativity go to Jaguar for bringing the XKR (g) from Die Another Day, complete with rear-mounted gatling gun. Why did I not bring a camera?

So, aside from the supercars, I didn’t really see a whole lot that did much for me. I want a car with 6 cylinders with price tag in the low twenties that isn’t a Scion. Since I drive a Grand Am now, I sat in the G6. Enh. The biggest surprise for me was the Suzuki Verona, just about the only car there that fit the bill. I’ll keep it in mind.

By the way, the cars with (g) after them are driveable in Gran Turismo 4. Heh heh heh….

Taking a half day tomorrow and a Friday off in a couple weeks. I met with little resistance. Will I pay for it? God yes. Will it be worth it? Still yes. Finally starting to realize that just-around-the-corner never comes.

So, what to do with this day off? Probably go visit the in-laws, which is kinda like a vacation in that it’s a change of scenery. A cheap change, which is good. This year was supposed to be the year of my triumphant return to the slopes (as were the last two), but I’m a cheapass. The release date for GT4 is February 22nd, so the ol’ PS2 may need to be brought along.

I’ve got a bad feeling about what’s going to happen to my writing once that game comes out, considering the utter dominance its predecessor had over me. I must be strong! Videogames are the time-killer. I will permit them to pass over me and through me, and when they are gone, only I will remain.

It’s been a pretty steady few days. Have a remarkably difficult time getting up, go to work, eat dinner, watch TV, play videogames, go to sleep. Not much to report on the Alex front, so I’ll send you some other places.

If you like folklore or Japan or all of the above, check this out. Click around to find other totally sweet stuff.

If you’re going to be in NY in the coming weeks, go check this out.

Want to know what I’ve been listening to? Go check this out. RHAPSODY Link

Looking to waste some time? Go check this out.

Weird day. I was through the looking glass. The simple became intricate, and the perfect flawed. I was called upon to guard the defenseless, presented with a riddle in a strange language, and given a mysterious package with no explanation but a warning.

I think I need more sleep.