I was so close.

A clutch of my amigos (all of whom write for webshite, I believe) have

been sucked into a black vortex known as World of Warcraft. I do not

play Massively Multiplayer Online Role-playing Games for a variety of

reasons, nor do I have any interest in high fantasy games, or mayhaps

I might have joined them. Fortunately for my sanity and carpal

tunnel, I did not.

I tried to explain MMORPG’s to Her Worship the other day. It went

along these lines:

A: So, it’s a videogame, but it’s not linear or plot-driven. You walk

around and do whatever.

HW: And you can do whatever you want?

A: Just about. If you do anything too nuts, an admin shows up as a

god and smacks you around a bit.

HW: Yeah, yeah. But you can just wander around in the world?

A: If you want. Usually there’s some kind of over-arching plot, but you can…

HW: Like Pern?

At this point, our hero starts to get grandiose ideas of getting Her

Worshipfullness into MMORPGs, of needing to buy a gaming rig to handle

the games, one of those hot Alienware PCs, and we’d spend nights

together in the gameroom, me on the Xbox, her on the ALX. And it

would be joyous.

A: Sure. So you would be a merchant or a dragonrider or whatever you

want. Just existing in the Pern universe.

HW: Can you imagine the time it must have taken to program all that?

Every person in every town?

A: Well, the people are other players.

HW: What?

A: Yeah, you know. People from all over, just like you, playing the game.

HW: Well, fuck that.

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