Oh man are you guys lucky. You were this close to getting an eyeful of my opinions on last night’s premiere of the ABC mini-series Empire, replete with ill-founded statements along the lines of “Octavius wasn’t a good-guy” and “but he just killed Pompey” and smattered with my standard list of likes/dislikes. I’ll sum it up for you: I liked it, the departures from the history are well-handled and more than understandable, and if Caesar had the people’s best interests in mind then I’m Jay-Z.

Fortunately for you, I saw this before I started typing and the following rant ensues: $400 for a Playstation 3? Forget it. We all know I’m mad cheap when it comes to videogames. I don’t need a damn media center — call me crazy, but I buy videogame consoles to play videogames. I don’t need online play; I play videogames to get away from jackasses. Why would I add jackassery to my gaming by going online? Yeah, sure the graphics will be great, but just how damn realistic do we want games to be? So, you’re going to make assloads of titles about zombies, magic ninjas, aliens and whatnot and tell me how realistic the games are? And I do mean assloads — several iterations of the number of games an ass can carry. Maybe if I played Madden I’d give a couple shits about how well-rendered the chest-hair of that fat dude with a ramhead painted on his beergut is, but I don’t so I don’t.

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