I mean, the title alone…

You may have heard a bit about the ‘Hot Coffee’ scandal surrounding Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Here’s a quick summary — there’s a hidden mode in the game (which one must do some hacking to get to) in which your character has sex and the ESRB has pulled the game to replace it’s Mature (17+) rating with an Adults Only rating. Stores are pulling it, and NY senator Hillary Clinton called for a Federal Trade Commission investigation.

I agree that if any medium has X-rated content, it should be for adults only. The fact that the mode is not accessible by people without proper tools makes this whole issue a little gray.

Here’s an abbreviated list of things I have done in Grand Theft Auto 3 which are worse than having consensual sex:

  • Exceeded the speed limit.
  • Ran a stoplight.
  • Escaped from a prison transfer vehicle.
  • Driven a prostitute to a job.
  • Stolen a car.
  • Stolen a police car.
  • Jacked a car.
  • Jacked a police car.
  • Jacked an ambulance.
  • Jacked a firetruck.
  • Jacked an FBI vehicle.
  • Jacked a tank.
  • Jacked an ice cream truck.
  • Engaged in a street race.
  • Engaged in a high-speed chase.
  • Disposed of a vehicle used for a crime
  • Disposed of a vehicle with a dead body in it.
  • Located 100 stashes of drugs and exchanged them for weapons.
  • Assisted in a bank robbery.
  • Assisted in several murders.
  • Planned and executed several assassinations.
  • Solicited a prostitute, and killed her to get my money back.
  • Started a gang war in order to decrease property values.
  • Engaged in a drive-by shooting.
  • Engaged in a random drive-by shooting.
  • Killed police officers, FBI agents, and military personnel who were firing upon me.
  • Killed police officers who were not firing upon me.
  • Killed non-gang-affiliated civilians in order to attract the attention of law enforcement.
  • Killed the emergency personnel who arrived to care for these civilians.
  • Killed wantonly and without cause using a large variety of weapons, including but limited to my bare hands, a baseball bat, various guns, various incendiary devices, a flame-thrower, and a tank.

Apparently 17-year-olds hacking a program and simulating sex is more deserving of government attention than them simulating any of the acts on the above list.

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