So now I know.

The Rhapsodic Oracle had told me the following:

What do you think of me, Rhapsody?
Stereotypes, Blur. Fuck you, Rhapsody.

Will I have a happy life?
California, Gomez. That’s more of a place than an answer.

What do my friends think of me?
[Untitled], Oasis. Is that the equivalent of “[expletive deleted]”?

Do people secretly lust after me?
Seven Nation Army, White Stripes. That’s a lot of people.

How can I make myself happy?
See America Right, Mountain Goats. So I should get blitzed and travel. Gotcha.

What should I do with my life?
The Scientist, Coldplay. A bit late to be telling me this, Rhapsody. Seriously.

Why must life be so full of pain?
Devils Haircut, Beck. Sorry, Vito. Looks like I have to move on.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Susanne, Weezer. Ladies? You know my number.

Can you give me some advice?
Guns Blazing, U.N.K.L.E. Um… that’s a little frightening.

What do you think happiness is?
The Second One, Remy Shand. I do find that after two drinks, life improves.

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