The Rhapsodic Oracle had told me the following:
What do you think of me, Rhapsody?
Stereotypes, Blur. Fuck you, Rhapsody.
Will I have a happy life?
California, Gomez. That’s more of a place than an answer.
What do my friends think of me?
[Untitled], Oasis. Is that the equivalent of “[expletive deleted]”?
Do people secretly lust after me?
Seven Nation Army, White Stripes. That’s a lot of people.
How can I make myself happy?
See America Right, Mountain Goats. So I should get blitzed and travel. Gotcha.
What should I do with my life?
The Scientist, Coldplay. A bit late to be telling me this, Rhapsody. Seriously.
Why must life be so full of pain?
Devils Haircut, Beck. Sorry, Vito. Looks like I have to move on.
How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Susanne, Weezer. Ladies? You know my number.
Can you give me some advice?
Guns Blazing, U.N.K.L.E. Um… that’s a little frightening.
What do you think happiness is?
The Second One, Remy Shand. I do find that after two drinks, life improves.