Top Five Reasons I Would Make a Poor Drug Dealer:
#1: Too penny-ante. The whole always-a-bigger-fish thing seems to come in to play often.
#2: Not British. Honestly, I’m not. Awfully close, but just not.
#3: The metric system. Kilos? That’s plain un-American.
#4: Don’t use enough unintelligible slang. Also, don’t call anyone “my son”.
#5: No fashion sense. Apparently adjectives such as “snappy” are used to describe coke dealer dressing habits.