Alex Livingston

Discerning B A Starters may have noticed the “Get Firefox” button under “Other Links”. Now’s when I tells ya why’s I likes the Firefox.

#1 – They say it’s safer. I can only assume they mean the menus and buttons are placed in such a way that my inevitable debilitation due to carpal tunnel syndrome will be pushed back a few weeks.

#2 – Extensions. They’ve got all these user-created extensions of the software that do cool stuff. At least they look like they do cool stuff. I mean, I’m not really sure what a mouse gesture is, but since I don’t, it must be cool, right? Knowledge I don’t have is supposed to be cool, isn’t it?

#3 – Themes. Tired of your boring browser? Well, Firefox has got tons of user-created themes, which change the look of the buttons and what not. Granted, 75% of them are based on pawprints, but hey. At first I was disappointed in this feature, since I was expecting a searchable online database of junior-high themes on various topics, such as what I did during my summer vacation. I adjusted.

#4 – The logo. The Firefox logo is pretty. I like pretty things. Well, maybe not all pretty things. A lot of pretty things, though. Probably most. That I’ve seen. Like in my life and stuff.

I’m a big fan of the pop-up blocker and password manager. I also like being able to search Wikipedia and IMDB from the toolbar. So go download it. It’s pretty sweet.

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I really need to defrag. I’ve been experiencing a serious increase in processing time for even the most basic of tasks. Errors, hangs, and full freezes are becoming more frequent. I tried the disk cleanup, but the temporary files are already all wiped out. Seems that files are being flat-out deleted instead of just moved to the Recycle Bin. Maybe I should try a good registry cleaner. With all of the programs installed and uninstalled over the years, I’m sure there’s all kind of stuff that needs to be straightened out.

I’m starting to become concerned that the problem is not hard-drive space but processor speed. How can I tell if I’m pushing the machine too hard? I’ve often wondered if I should dedicate the time and money to upgrading the thing piecemeal. Knowing me, I’ll just keep working the poor thing until it fries. My brain, I mean. Not the new computer. That arrived and everything’s fine. The gray matter on the other hand, no so much.

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Been trying to stay later at work the last couple days. Got two big ol’ projects due by year-end and it’s go time. Something in the untended pile of scraps and weeds that composes my mind heard my voice bemoaning a lack of time in the day and finally figured out that I have the ability to make more if it. So for the last couple days, instead of running off in a depressed huff shortly after the five o’clock hour, I’ve been working on these projects with quiet deliberation for a bit, the constant chatter of my coworkers replaced by the slow, calming sussuration of my belly wondering just what in the Hellespont is going on. All those suck-ups may be on to something after all.

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Watched the latest Harry Potter last night. Good god damn does Quidditch get me going. So much so that I rented that Quidditch: World Cup game a while back. You know what? Not so good. One would think making a game with rules as simple as Quidditch would be easy peasy, and I still maintain that it could be great game if made properly. The developers seemed to focus a lot more on the funky, kid-pandering graphics than on gameplay. A lot of precious geek time is spent watching little cutscenes of special unblockable moves, which were pretty cool but very repetitive. You can’t end a game without catching the snitch, but some weird combination of events have to take place for the snitch to be released, which took me a while to figure out.

Now, if we could get the guys who made ESPN NHL 2K5 to make the next Quidditch game, we’d be getting somewhere.

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Some deficiency in my nature or upbringing (though I doubt the latter, as my parents really did try) leaves a noticable gap in my personality where the enjoyment of sports should be. Try as I might, nothing seems to stick. Through the efforts of many, I’ve developed into a decent hockey fan, but still can’t sit and watch a whole game by myself. I managed to attend every home high school football game and come away with no idea what “fair catch” means. F1, rally racing, and skiing remain the only events I can stomach, probably because I have driven a car and have also skiied. (Skied? Too bored with it to even look it up.)

Fictional sports, on the other hand, merit being called an obsession. Watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban last night stoked that fire until it glowed with warm geekiness. I know as much about Quidditch as any person living. While my interest in the Harry Potter series can at most be described as passing, the merest glimpse of the oval and rings makes the blood pound in my under-exercised heart. The two other biggies are pod racing and blitzball. I sincerely wish I could explain why the distractions of made-up people keep my attention more easily than actual human competition, but I am at a complete loss, an observer of my own habits as removed as you are. Feel free to submit tentative explanations — your guess is at least as good as mine.

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I’m sending it back. The morning after the last iteration in the saga of Alex vs. the Dell, the blue screen came up again. I spent the day getting primed for the call, running through the playbook in my mind, devising stratagems, hardening my resolve. I hate being Angry Customer Guy and have been fortunate enought not to have to don that mask but a few times. This was going to be his greatest victory.

I called the Dell I-Heart-Customers line, guns at the ready. They offered to replace the machine and send UPS to pick up the old one for free. No need to bring out the Sith lord.

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New research on the life of Homer has uncovered surprising details. Here’s the first stanza from Butler’s Iliad:

Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless

ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to

Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were

the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king

of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another.

Compare to the following:

You know my husband, your father, your grandfather, of course he’s not with us

now, but when he was alive years ago, after he started his business and we lived

on Wesland street with the red house and the Ford, which I tried to learn how to

drive, and let me tell you I heard some language from him then, he always was

out bowling, you know he liked to bowl.

Comparative study has revealed that Homer was a 75-year-old Italian woman from the Bronx.

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I’d like to place a motion on the floor. Let’s move Thanksgiving to September. Those of you who don’t live in the Northeast may think this silly, but I would ask that you hear me out.

One would be foolish to miss Thanksgiving. A single day of feast and relaxed conversation in celebration of the traditions of hard work, inclusiveness,and piety that are so definitive to Americans. No singing, no church, no torn paper. Unfortunately, the gods of nature have clearly ruled that travel to and from this peaceful event be a task worthy of the great. Each year they loose the black-browed storm god upon us hapless mortals, and each year we must strain and suffer to earn our place at the table.

But we’re America. The gods do not decide our fate. We have the power to circumvent their trickery by simply changing the date of our observance. Clearly another autumn month would be preferable, keeping in line with the harvest theme of the day. October has Halloween, a holiday fervently celebrated by all but the most Fundamentalist, the Ebenezers of All Hallows Eve. September comes out as the clear leader. Write your congressman.

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Bad day today. Real bad. So what does one do to relax in a case like this? Dark Side Therapy, babies. Throw in KOTOF’NR, head to Korriban, and show those bitches why they call me “Dark Lord”. People are going to die.

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B A Start Poll: Should I take advantage of Dell’s Total Satisfaction Return Policy? I’ve got until the 24th to make up my mind. And I think I would have to pay for shipping. For a year, they’ll come out and replace broken stuff.

After repeated blue screens and full on crashes today, I called support and got somebody good. He recommended a registry cleaner and a full diagnostic. Some Christmas shopping and an ice-cream later, the diag tool is still running. It doesn’t come up with anything. I call ’em back, they take down some info and give me the number for customer care.

So, I’m muy torn. Send in your comments and lets here what you folks have to say.

Also, I’m thinking about changing the name of this blog to “DescentIntoDell.blogspot.com”.

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